I’ve been wanting to write for a long time now but have just started. Not because anyone was stopping me, but because now is the first time in my life that I can write well enough not to consider it to be work anymore. I just need a way to express some of the crazy thoughts that are in my head. Some of the memories in my head are driving me insane. They are so intense and I am fearful that they may reside in my mind forever. If I can’t find a way to express it I might explode. So I thought maybe I could ease the pain of these memories by letting them go on paper. To encourage, to entertain, to give thanks, to prove, to forget, Or maybe better to just lay them to rest. I am currently working on a book of my life, my thoughts and my feelings. Below is a small excerpt from the book.
I hope you enjoy my website and the poems…some of them may not make sense to you…hell some of them don’t make sense to me. Again, I just try to let them go on paper without thinking. Either way, I hope you enjoy!
“To be a man, you must not be afraid; better yet to be a good father is to have no fear. Courage is the trait wrestling injects into a man or a woman. I believe this to be one of the most important traits to obtain. If you are a parent you must have courage to protect your children.
I believe for me to feel freedom at it’s best I would have to have no fear. Because fear is, the thing that cowards are made of. Everyone fears that which is different by instinct. This is what makes the world such a dangerous place today. The people with no courage are afraid of threats of any kind. This is the one element that probably causes more wars than even greed. I am so sick of people talking tough saying that there is an easy solution for war, to kill those who are not on the same side. It’s easy to throw around your opinions, trying to express to others how tough you believe you are. The way we found out if we were tough in wrestling was to be the one that wasn’t getting the shit beat out of them. I wish those who talked tough could find out if they really were a stud. If that tough guy was really so tough, I bet he would not be so afraid. He would no longer look at others as being threats, but instead look for knowledge through understanding. It’s much easier to understand yourself than it is to understand others. With the lack of understanding we can’t figure which emotion to select so to protect ourselves we often choose hate.
The saddest thing in life is death. But even sadder to me, is the fact that some choose death, because life did not meet their expectations. Those who have taken their own life, could not obtain their standards. Many parents of those who have chosen suicide might look at the situation with great shame, and they may think their children are going to hell because they did something against God. This makes me the saddest of all, I believe every time someone intentionally takes their own life, God cries in shame. Because he knows the world he has provided is full of to much cruelty that those with so much emotion can no longer deal with all the hatred. In all my aims and attempts to see as much as I can in life, I only wish to see love and beauty. However, I realize I can’t avoid the pain and suffering that so many people live with, including myself.”